It's been a crazy month
actually couple of months.
And by crazy I mean stressful, busy, emotional, hard, heavy...fill in the blank.
But in the midst of the stress and tough times God is here and God is good.
I go to a weekly bible study where we are currently studying the book of Job.
Oh how this book has been so good for my soul!
In God's sovereignty He knew that it would be just the book I needed to be digging deep into during this season of life.
So Thursday's are Bible Study day.
This past Thursday I woke up early to finish the last bit of my study.
Part of it was looking at Job 38:39-39:30 where God describes in detail how He is the Great Provider. He takes care of the animals and creation, He sustains the universe, etc., etc. Our study also pointed us to Matthew 6:25-33 which is a great reminder that God loves us and has promised to take care of us (see below).
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Then later that morning before Aaron left for work we spotted this beautiful rainbow in our backyard and I posted it on Instragram saying this,
"So good to be reminded of God's promises."
Later in the morning I went to Bible Study.
During our small group time we talked about how God uses all kinds of circumstances to work in the lives of his children. Many times he uses trials to refine our faith or character and to make us more like Him!
We each had an opportunity to share some of the impurities he has already removed from us and which ones he was still working out.
I shared how these past couple of months have been really tough and how I have been feeling stressed and anxious about so many things. I know worrying is a sin but I had been thinking all week about the root of the sin that was causing me to worry in the first place and I think it boils down to pride (wanting to work things out on my own) and not trusting the Lord. I told them that when trials come, I don't want to have an attitude that says, "Why me?". Rather I want to think, "Why not me" because really I'm no one special. Why do I feel like I should be exempt from trials, tragedy or hard times and have a pity party for myself when things are tough? I want to have a posture that welcomes difficulties with a joyful heat knowing that God works all things out for His good and that He promises to make me more Christlike through them.
Well...I got what I wished for!
And not that I think I jinxed myself by saying those things (I don't) I just feel like in God's grace and love He spent the whole day gently preparing me for the next storm to hit our life.
Because later that day as Aaron, and the kids, and I were out house hunting (did I mention that we are moving at the end of the month? Just locally) I started bleeding...a lot. a lot. a lot.
I called my OB in the car and they told us to go straight to the ER.
Thankfully my mom was able to meet us at the hospital and take the kids home with her.
(Side note...you know you have been to the ER too many times when 3 different nurses remember you).
The whole time we were thinking it was probably the same thing that happened to me when I was 16 weeks pregnant with Madelyn because they were the same exact symptoms and both happened when I was 16 weeks pregnant.
Turns out it was something completely different.
After a loooong ultrasound, Aaron getting yelled at for breaking the rules (FYI don't take pictures during an ultrasound) and many hours at the ER, talking with my OB, etc. they determined that I have a complete placenta previa and that I have to be on bed rest for at least the next month until I have another ultrasound and doctors appointment to see if the placenta has moved.
Yes bed rest.
for at least a month.
with 3 kids.
Then on the way home, just because He is good and we are doubters sometimes
God gave us another reminder of His promises.
That He is good, and in control of all things, and all powerful.
He knew that I would be bed rest from the beginning.
This didn't catch him by surprise.
He cares about the details of our life and He will work everything out.
We don't have to worry.
All we have to do is trust Him
because He is trustworthy.
5 comments:
I have to tell you that I know that it's rough to be on bedrest, but I'm SO happy for you! I went to my regular midwife's checkup a few weeks ago (at 15 1/2 weeks along) and was told that my baby didn't have a heartbeat. You got to see that sweet baby and find out that it was okay! And in the middle of everything and feeling awful for myself, I spoke to a friend who has Lou Gehrig's disease and her brother recently died and her father was diagnosed with cancer, and I felt extremely grateful for my small trials. Two sons having to go get stitches or staples in two weeks is nothing compared to the trials that she's going through, and I'd certainly rather have a miscarriage than have the possibility of having to leave all of my children behind. The Lord puts these things in our way to mold us into the people that he knows that we're capable of being. Be grateful for the small trials because they could be SO much bigger. I'll have you in my thoughts and prayers as you try to get through this trial in your life. Good luck!
Oh goodness, you are such a strong Mama... Always seeming so calm and keeping your focus on Christ in such a rough situation. Praying for you and your little one! And for help with the other three while you're on bed rest! Thanks for being such an encouragement and example!
Wow! What amazing timing our God has. The weekly study and the little whispers before the storm.... Having been in a very similar situation myself almost 3 years ago I can share one thing... you will continue to be amazed at His Goodness, His love, His timing, and His tender attention to detail. The one other thing I would share is that at first I was resistant to having others help me, it was so hard!!! Although you can't put up much of a fight tied to a bed : ) but once I finally allowed them to help, not only did it lighten my burden but we were so blessed by those around us who were the hands and feet of Christ. They loved my children, fed my family, cleaned my house and did so many things I could never list! My heart is forever changed by their generosity. Praying for you, your sweet baby, and family. Thank you for sharing and allowing those of us far away, who love reading your blog, an opportunity to pray for you.
First, thank you for your perspective. I recently finished Job, I should have a "why not me" attitude after reading it, but...
I've been where you are, bed rest, with littles. It was so hard, but His mercies were new each morning. I pray he magnifies His mercy on you, and provides all your family's needs. I pray you see Him at work, and delight in His hand on your life.
I'm so sorry that you are down for a time. I hope your placenta will shift upwards as baby grows, and you will be back to your energetic self soon. I will pray that you will be able to accept all the help you need, and that you will have daily reminders of His faithfulness and promises!
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