hacked

I'd like to say this doesn't happen often.

But that would be a lie.

The happiest place on earth

Over the weekend my aunt surprised us by getting us all into Disneyland.

I know...we were freaking out too!

It was so good to spend some family time (out of the house) together. 

And it didn't hurt that it was at the happiest place on earth. 

As soon as we got there we were on a mission to see and do as much as possible.

Our first stop was Cars Land. 

It is awesome!

The kids were so excited to meet Mater and Lightening. 

Riding the tractor with my big girl. 

Mackenzie and Wesley were so brave!
They went on so many big kid rides and loved every second of it.

Well except a certain roller coaster for a certain 5 year old girl. 

pink. sparkle. minnie ears.

perfect for my girlie girl.

And this little one...I can't believe she's not going to be the baby in two more months.

She's getting too big too fast. 

Wes was in heaven! 

The last time he went to Disneyland (in CA at least) he was just a baby so this time he really got to enjoy it.

He didn't meet a ride he didn't love.

We had the best dance party while waiting in line.

And we got it all on video which makes it even better.

I have the best hubby ever. 

Disneyland is so magical. 

We ended our long, fun day with the parade.

It's always one of our favorite parts about Disneyland. 

Hope you guys had a great weekend too!

Waiting and trusting

Waiting stinks.

I mean who likes being stuck in a waiting room.

Sure the first half an hour to hour is fine but after you have read all your emails, checked instagram and facebook, browsed Pinterest and read all the good magazines you are ready to move on. 

To get on with or past whatever you are waiting for.

I mentioned before that I'm in a woman's Bible Study at our church.
Right now we are studying Hebrews and this week one of our questions was asking us about
what in our life are we in the waiting room for? 

What impeccable timing for such a question.

2 weeks ago (after an appointment with my new gastroenterologist) I had some blood work repeated and last week I finished another 24 urine test. 

This week the results from my tests finally came in. 

And both tests showed that my levels for neuroendrocrine tumors were elevated.
One test in particular that serves as a tumor marker was 20 times higher than it was just 8 months ago.
The other test was higher than it was the last time I did it but still not super high (which kind of stumps the doctors)

When I first heard this news I was fine.
We have been on the journey to figure out this mystery disease for so long that it was nice to have some kind of answer.
But the more I began to think about it the more I began to worry.
And part of me feels like I have a right to worry.
For one I'm pregnant.
With baby number 4.
And we now have more evidence that cancerous tumors are possibly in my body.
And I need to have a bagillion tests/procedures done to locate the possible tumors and if they are there start treatment on them but remember...I'm pregnant. With baby number 4.
And all of the tests are not safe for pregnant people.
In fact they are highly radioactive.
So much so that I can't be around small kids for multiple days after I get them done. Or nurse for multiple multiple days after I get them done.
And that's only the beginning.
If/when they find the tumors I have a long road of treatment ahead of me. With more tests and procedures.
And a baby.
A sweet little baby that I won't get to enjoy like I did my 3 other kids (who are just waiting for life to get back to normal).
Not to mention that possibly having cancer definitely puts life into perspective.
See all of this...plus the rabbit trail that proceeds, is just worry.

And worry is not of the Lord.
These verses have really been ministering to me lately.

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-8

And instead of worrying about all of the unknowns or the scary/crazy road ahead I'm learning to trust.
To trust in a God who I love and who loves me.
And who is sovereign and good and in control.
Who is holy and awesome and who's will is perfect. Even when bad things happen.

image found here 

Homemade bread

It feels so good to be able to cook again!

One of the first things I was excited to make (ok eat) was some home made bread. 

If you have never made bread before it sounds way fancier than it really is. 

All you need is water, yeast, salt and flour. 

My go to bread recipe is this one from Artisan 5 minute bread (except I mix it with the dough hook in the Kitchen Aid).

One recipe makes 3 loafs of bread and the best part is the dough stays good in the fridge for up to 2 weeks. 

So when you feel like having some fresh bread with dinner you just take out some dough, let it rest for 40 minutes and then bake it for 30 minutes. 

Super easy and so.so.so. good.

Thanks to Pinterest I've seen a few other bread recipes that have caught my eye. 

Next on my list are this and this. 

Do you have a favorite homemade bread recipe?

California winter

California summer.

I mean winter.

After a few chilly weeks we are spoiled with a weekend and another full week of near 80 degree weather. 

Beach. 

Yes please! 

Happy Friday!

Yay!

It's Friday!

Hope you guys and a great week...here's a peek at ours. 

3 little bugs all snuggled up. 

Aaron's practicing his swaddling skills for when Hudson comes. 

that's a lot of laundry. 

Wesley set up this little bed for he and Maddie. 

So cute. 

Someone stop her please.

She's getting so big. 

BBQing with Daddy

The growing belly.

Only 10 weeks left!

muah!

After a few days of freezing cold weather (well freezing to us wimpy Californians) we finally have sunshine again. 

Wesley cracks me up. 

Our baby bear. 

 Craft night project 

(details coming soon)

This little guy can't wait to play sports

breakfast. 

Clearly we need some chickens. 

I got to help out in Mackenzie's preschool class today.

Can you guess what our letter and theme for the day was?

Back to sewing

We have been reunited...

and it feels so good. 

The other day I had a surge of energy and sewed up a stack of burp cloths.

With all the babies being born around me I'm going to need them for gifts (and baby Hudson of course). 

Now to get to the million other things on my sewing to do lists. 

All I need is some energy and motivation to make them.

I'm sure Wesley has some he can lend me.  

Dairy free milkshake

Wesley can't have dairy.

Which stinks because everything good has dairy in it.

The other day we (ok...me) were craving a milkshake. 

So I decided to try a dairy free version.

We added some vanilla almond milk, a dash of vanilla extract, ice and a banana to our Vitamix blender and it was so delicious! 

And I'm sure way healthier than the kind with ice cream (although that is yummy too). 

Just thought we would share it with you! 

12 things

1. I made THESE amazing cookies with some friends the other day.

You know if browned butter, Nutella and chocolate chips are involved it has got to be good. 

Go make them (with extra sea salt on top). 

THESE are next on my list of baking adventures.

2. Someone special is turning 30 soon!

I'm soooooo excited!

3. We have to move. By the beginning of March. I'm due 2 weeks later. 

No big deal.

(Our landlord is selling our place) 

4. This game is awesome. Especially because I have won every time we have played. 

5. Spent $23, saved $130.

I love you Target.

6. Thanks to Martha we have been eating more veggies.
Do you guys like Acorn Squash?

7. Fact: flowers make houses look happier. 

8. This clay are begging to be made into some pretty necklaces.
Craft night anyone?

9. I love thrift stores too. 

Especially when everything in the store is 50% off.

Actually I think I'm just a sucker for a good deal. 

10. I think my husband is starting to rub off on me. 

Or I am catching the organizing bug.

11. I went to Ikea for the first time EVER (I know!) this weekend.
No one ever told me they watch your kids while you shop.
I think I might be making regular trips there just for an hour of alone time. And cinnamon rolls. 

12. Mission find out mystery disease continues. 

I went to a new GI doctor last Thursday.

I got some more blood work done and am doing another 24 hour urine sample.
We should hear back some results later this week and then I am scheduled for 4 or more procedures as soon as baby comes (repeat Octrotide, CT scan, endoscopy, etc.).

Fun stuff. 

No more finger sucking

We finally did it.

We (at Mackenzie's request) went out and got the big guns.

Apparently the mother of all stop sucking your finger(s) remedies.

Just read some of the reviews on Amazon. 

And so far it seems to have been working. 

Mackenzie hasn't sucked her fingers in over a week. 

But I also feel like it was partly a mental switch. 

She asked us to buy the stuff and reminds us to put it on. 

I think she was finally ready to give up the habit...she just needed a little extra help.

And apparently Wesley was feeling a little left out of all the finger sucking hype. 

He decided to try a little (or a lot) of Mavala Stop for himself.

I'd say this is pretty much the most awesome example of a natural consequence.

By the time I caught him in the act I had him try to wash it off but once it's on it takes a couple of days to wear off.
And apparently it tastes really bad. 

He's been telling me a million times a day for the past two days how yucky that nail polish is.

And each time I get to remind him how important it is to obey him Mommy :) 

8 years

8 years ago today I married my best friend.

Aaron,

Happy Anniversary Babe! 8 years and almost 4 kids later I feel like the luckiest woman alive.

I'm so blessed to have you as the leader of our family, father of our kids and man by my side.

I'm looking forward to 2013 and many, many more years and adventures with you. 

I love you more than words can express.

Kristin