A little health update

A bunch of you have been asking about my health so I thought I'd give you a little update...

although there isn't a whole lot to update you on (but I guess that's a good thing!). 

Praise God I haven't had any episodes in almost 6 months! 

This is by far the longest I have gone episode free.

Yippee!

The doctors wanted me to redo a bunch of big scans/tests including the radioactive Octreotide Scan a month after Hudson was born but since I have been feeling great and the tests are so inconvenient (I can't  be around the kids for a few days, can't feed the baby for 2 weeks!, etc.) we decided to redo some blood work and other non invasive tests first. 

The tumor marker that came back really high a few months ago had gone down a bit (probably because I'm no longer pregnant) but is still much higher than normal. 

I'm still waiting on another test result before I meet face to face with the doctors to see what our next step is but for now it sounds like they still want me to redo the scans. We will see though.

Whatever happens the Lord has been meeting me and ministering to me in such a sweet way during this season. During one of the sessions of the woman's retreat with our church our speaker Margaret Ashmore taught on the sovereignty of God. It was so. so. good and such a great reminder that God uses everything that happens for our good and His ultimate glory. Whatever happens I've already seen God use this mystery disease for my good and I'm trusting that He is and will be glorified through it. 

I'll keep you guys posted as I know more. 

Waiting and trusting

Waiting stinks.

I mean who likes being stuck in a waiting room.

Sure the first half an hour to hour is fine but after you have read all your emails, checked instagram and facebook, browsed Pinterest and read all the good magazines you are ready to move on. 

To get on with or past whatever you are waiting for.

I mentioned before that I'm in a woman's Bible Study at our church.
Right now we are studying Hebrews and this week one of our questions was asking us about
what in our life are we in the waiting room for? 

What impeccable timing for such a question.

2 weeks ago (after an appointment with my new gastroenterologist) I had some blood work repeated and last week I finished another 24 urine test. 

This week the results from my tests finally came in. 

And both tests showed that my levels for neuroendrocrine tumors were elevated.
One test in particular that serves as a tumor marker was 20 times higher than it was just 8 months ago.
The other test was higher than it was the last time I did it but still not super high (which kind of stumps the doctors)

When I first heard this news I was fine.
We have been on the journey to figure out this mystery disease for so long that it was nice to have some kind of answer.
But the more I began to think about it the more I began to worry.
And part of me feels like I have a right to worry.
For one I'm pregnant.
With baby number 4.
And we now have more evidence that cancerous tumors are possibly in my body.
And I need to have a bagillion tests/procedures done to locate the possible tumors and if they are there start treatment on them but remember...I'm pregnant. With baby number 4.
And all of the tests are not safe for pregnant people.
In fact they are highly radioactive.
So much so that I can't be around small kids for multiple days after I get them done. Or nurse for multiple multiple days after I get them done.
And that's only the beginning.
If/when they find the tumors I have a long road of treatment ahead of me. With more tests and procedures.
And a baby.
A sweet little baby that I won't get to enjoy like I did my 3 other kids (who are just waiting for life to get back to normal).
Not to mention that possibly having cancer definitely puts life into perspective.
See all of this...plus the rabbit trail that proceeds, is just worry.

And worry is not of the Lord.
These verses have really been ministering to me lately.

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-8

And instead of worrying about all of the unknowns or the scary/crazy road ahead I'm learning to trust.
To trust in a God who I love and who loves me.
And who is sovereign and good and in control.
Who is holy and awesome and who's will is perfect. Even when bad things happen.

image found here 

Baby update

Hey guys! 

Just a quick update on me and baby for all of you who are interested.

We had appointments with the perinatologist and my regular OB this week and we found out...

-we make the cutest babies ever (but we already knew that). I love getting a peek at our little guy at all of our ultrasounds. 

-the giant hemorrhage is still there but it is sllllooowwwly shrinking. It was a few centimeters smaller this month.

-The giant thing in the baby's bowel/colon was gone! Praise Jesus!

-But his intestines still "light up" on the ultrasound. They think it is just blood that the baby has swallowed.

-My amniotic fluid looked really cloudy which most likely means that there is blood particles in that too (which apparently they think is fine). 

-The tests for Cystic Fibrosis and infections all came back negative!

-And I'm still on bed rest :) indefinitely.

But today I'm 24 weeks which means we have successfully survived 2 whole months of bed rest! 

Woo hoo!! 

We are so blessed by the countless people who have helped us watch the kids, who have dropped of groceries, made meals and come over to visit. 

We definitely wouldn't be able to get through this without you! 

Visit to the Endorcrinologist

Just to keep everyone in the loop...

After my last episode I went crazy on mission

figure out mystery disease.

I don't ever want to have another episode again and I definitely don't want to have any more while I'm pregnant. 

I'm honestly not sure if the baby could make it through another one.

Anyways, after being sent back to my primary doctor again (which was so frustrating) I was referred to an Endocrinologist. 

It was totally a God story how they even got me to be seen so quickly but I went for an appointment last Wednesday.
And the scoop is... 

they still think I have Carcinoid Syndrome.
It's pretty much the only thing that could explain all of my symptoms. 

However all the tests I have done to detect the Carcinoid tumors (that cause Carcinoid syndrome) have come back negative. 

The Endocrinologist thinks since the tumors are so tiny they are just hiding and being missed. 

He wants me to re do the crazy radioactive Ocreotide scan BUT I can't do it, or any other test for that matter, until after I have the baby. 

So in the meantime we just have to wait and pray that I don't have any more episodes before the baby comes or if I do that they are very mild.
So that's where we are.
Kind of back at square one with another long road ahead of us.

But again, God is good and in control.
This is just another thing we give over to Him
and wait and trust that even when no one knows what's going on He does.
Even though we don't get it
this is all a part of His perfect plan.
And in the midst of the uncertainty there is comfort in that.

Choosing to be thankful

I really want to title this post 

things that suck about being on bed rest.

  

This morning I sent Mackenize off to her last soccer game and her end of the year party. 

And I was mad. 

I want to be there so bad! 

I hate missing out on life and I hate not being able to be there for my kids. 

And I hate that bed rest affects way more people than just me. 

And I could go on and on about all of the reasons why bed rest sucks. 

And part of me really wants to

but instead I'm choosing to be grateful and thankful for all the good things in my life right now.   

I want to dwell on those things instead. 

Because when crazy uncontrollable things happen 

we get to choose our response to them. 

And instead of being bitter I want to be grateful.

So here are the things I choosing to be grateful for.

-A precious baby that I'm on bed rest for. I'm so thankful that he's still on the inside and that he's growing bigger and stronger each day. 

-My husband who has been serving me and the kids so sacrificially this past month and a half. He has been such a trooper and even finds ways to go out of his way to bless me.  I'm one lucky lady! 

-All the friends and family that have been helping with the kids! 3 kids isn't a small task. I know it's tiring and they have been going out of their way to keep them entertained and alive. We are so blessed by the people God has surrounded us with!   

 -Little, pretty reminders of the outside world. 

-Friends that have stopped by for a visit or my favorite...game night! And friends who bring yummy treats.

-Leggings and Uggs. The best bed rest wardrobe ever.

  

-These three cuties that keep life from being anything but boring. 

What are you choosing to be thankful for today?

One week down...and some new news!

We did it! 

We survived the first full week of bed rest 

(with LOTS of help from friends and family). 

And...I have some good news!! 

So I started bleeding again Wednesday night and had to go back to the doctor first thing Thursday for another ultrasound.

Well during the ultrasound they realized that I don't have placenta previa!!

(I'm not sure how they messed that up before but whatever) 

I actually have a really large subchorionic hemorrhage which is the same thing I had when I was pregnant with Madelyn (just worse this time). 

Basically a subchorionic hemorrhage is a huge pocket of blood in your uterus.

Here is a picture from the ultrasound...

Can you see the thick white line down the middle?

Well the part on the left hand side is where the baby is and everything else on the right is blood (yes like half of my uterus right now is filled with blood. kind of gross and freaky).

So the long and short of it is that I'm still on bedrest but finding out that it is a subchorionic hemorrhage instead of placenta previa is great news. 

Hopefully in a few months the hemorrhage will be gone and I'll be back to normal. 

Yay!

I go back to the doctor on November 5th so I'll keep you posted on my progress. 

In the meantime I've been doing lots of bed resting. 

Last Sunday at church one of our good friends was baptized.

I was SO bummed to have to be stuck at home

but thanks to technology I was able to kind of be there to see it. 

Yet another reason I love the iPhone.

Yay for face time!  

Although I haven't really been bored on bed rest (since I'm at home with the kids and whoever is helping us during the day) I was able to start a book on my to-read list. 

I've also got lots of couch snuggles with my boy. 

My favorite!

And thanks to a friend, I found my newest series to watch. 

so. funny.

On Tuesdays my mom has been taking care of me and the kids. 

This was my view from the couch.

I love them!

My aunt brought me a hand sewing project to keep me busy.

Can't wait to start!

We have a big comfy chair with an ottoman in our living room that I spend most of my day in. 

It allows me to be in the middle of the fun and craziness and to visit with our helpers and "play" with the kids.

I told Aaron that it's going to have a permanent indent in the bottom cushion by the time my bed rest is done. 

We have been SO blessed by our friends and family that have been helping us during this time!

Every day it seems like someone does something or brings something that totally amazes me and makes me so thankful to have such wonderful people in our lives. 

We have been blessed with yummy meals and treats,

people coming over to watch the kids or to stop by for a visit, 

and friends helping to clean my house! 

I'm feeling totally spoiled on bed rest. 

Thanks for everyone who has helped or prayed or texted or emailed or called to say hi or to check in.
We feel so loved and supported during this time! 

Bed rest

It's been a crazy month 

actually couple of months.

And by crazy I mean stressful, busy, emotional, hard, heavy...fill in the blank.

But in the midst of the stress and tough times God is here and God is good.

I go to a weekly bible study where we are currently studying the book of Job.

Oh how this book has been so good for my soul!

In God's sovereignty He knew that it would be just the book I needed to be digging deep into during this season of life. 

So Thursday's are Bible Study day. 

This past Thursday I woke up early to finish the last bit of my study. 

Part of it was looking at Job 38:39-39:30 where God describes in detail how He is the Great Provider. He takes care of the animals and creation, He sustains the universe, etc., etc. Our study also pointed us to Matthew 6:25-33 which is a great reminder that God loves us and has promised to take care of us (see below).

 ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Then later that morning before Aaron left for work we spotted this beautiful rainbow in our backyard and I posted it on Instragram saying this,

"So good to be reminded of God's promises."

Later in the morning I went to Bible Study. 

During our small group time we talked about how God uses all kinds of circumstances to work in the lives of his children. Many times he uses trials to refine our faith or character and to make us more like Him!  

We each had an opportunity to share some of the impurities he has already removed from us and which ones he was still working out.

I shared how these past couple of months have been really tough and how I have been feeling stressed and anxious about so many things. I know worrying is a sin but I had been thinking all week about the root of the sin that was causing me to worry in the first place and I think it boils down to pride (wanting to work things out on my own) and not trusting the Lord. I told them that when trials come, I don't want to have an attitude that says, "Why me?". Rather I want to think, "Why not me" because really I'm no one special. Why do I feel like I should be exempt from trials, tragedy or hard times and have a pity party for myself when things are tough? I want to have a posture that welcomes difficulties with a joyful heat knowing that God works all things out for His good and that He promises to make me more Christlike through them. 

Well...I got what I wished for!     

And not that I think I jinxed myself by saying those things (I don't) I just feel like in God's grace and love He spent the whole day gently preparing me for the next storm to hit our life. 

Because later that day as Aaron, and the kids, and I were out house hunting (did I mention that we are moving at the end of the month? Just locally) I started bleeding...a lot. a lot. a lot.

I called my OB in the car and they told us to go straight to the ER. 

Thankfully my mom was able to meet us at the hospital and take the kids home with her. 

(Side note...you know you have been to the ER too many times when 3 different nurses remember you).

   

The whole time we were thinking it was probably the same thing that happened to me when I was 16 weeks pregnant with Madelyn because they were the same exact symptoms and both happened when I was 16 weeks pregnant.

 Turns out it was something completely different.

After a loooong ultrasound, Aaron getting yelled at for breaking the rules (FYI don't take pictures during an ultrasound) and many hours at the ER, talking with my OB, etc. they determined that I have a complete placenta previa and that I have to be on bed rest for at least the next month until I have another ultrasound and doctors appointment to see if the placenta has moved. 

Yes bed rest. 

for at least a month. 

with 3 kids.  

Then on the way home, just because He is good and we are doubters sometimes

God gave us another reminder of His promises. 

That He is good, and in control of all things, and all powerful.

He knew that I would be bed rest from the beginning. 

This didn't catch him by surprise. 

He cares about the details of our life and He will work everything out. 

 We don't have to worry.

 All we have to do is trust Him

because He is trustworthy. 

And the saga continues.

I had another episode today.

Just when I thought my crazy mystery disease was gone

it showed its ugly head yet again.

Thankfully today wasn't nearly as bad as last time

(which was over 4 and a half months ago!).

I pretty much just had diarrhea and itchy hives all over my body.

Per doctors orders I went straight to the ER and I gave the ER doctor the lab slips I had in my wallet (from the gastroenterologist and rhuematologist).

They drew 15 vials of blood. 

Hopefully all that blood will show something. 

I kind of feel like anything is better than just being in the dark. 

At the ER they ran a million blood tests, pumped me with fluids and a bunch of different medicines and then 5 hours later I was fine and they let me go. 

With instructions to see some mystery disease specialist in LA. 

Someones got to know what's wrong with me!

There's got to be a real life House doctor out there right?

Well whether the doctors know what's wrong with me or not, God does.
He knows what's going on.

He's in control of all things.

And He is so powerful and so so good.

Even today was a reminder of God's sovereign control and perfect timing.

I had been out all day at the kids dance and soccer classes and then to the mall with friends and I just happened to swing by my parents house after the mall to borrow some fans.

The episode started right when I got to my mom's house. 

Which also happened to be the exact time Aaron was on lunch for work.

We were able to leave the kids with my parents and run over to the ER together.

 I love how God is so gracious to give me reminders of his love and sovereignty during the times when I need it the most. 

I feel so at peace that He's got it all under control. 

His hands are a good place to be :)

My name is Kristin and I'm a teeth grinder

Apparently I am stressed

or my body is failing me yet again

because the dentist told me that I grind my teeth.

And not just grind my teeth every now and then

I'm talking grind my teeth like a crazy person. 

I was totally in denial when they told me.

I tried the tell the nice lady that I didn't grind my teeth (at least I didn't think I did)

and then she kindly showed me my bazillion teeth that are fractured 

and dull when they should be pointy

and told me again that I did. 

I still didn't believe her until I looked at them for myself. 

And then I got all freaked out and had visions of me with dentures.

Actually I still am a little a lot freaked out about my newest health problem which I'm pretty sure is making my teeth grinding even worse! 

So in order to save my pretty teeth I need a mouth guard pronto. 

The thing is my insurance doesn't cover it (of course) 

and they cost an arm and a leg.

And then I stumbled across this place on the internet. 

Has anyone used them or have a teeth grinding remedy they wish to share? 

My teeth would greatly appreciate it.

P.S. Other than my poor teeth, I'm doing great! I haven't had an episod in 13 weeks (thank you Jesus!!)! 

No cancer!

I have good news

no great news

my gastroenterologist called me last night 

and told me that my Octreotide scan came back negative. 

That means there were no tumors and no cancer! 

thank you Jesus. thank you Jesus. thank you Jesus! 

But there's also a tinge of bad news. 

Now that they have pretty much ruled out Carcinoid Syndrome 

no one has any clue what is wrong with me! 

I definitely need a real life Dr. House to figure things out. 

Thankfully I know the ultimate Physician. 

He knows what's going on inside of me and His is totally able to heal me if it is His will.

And maybe He already has (or maybe He hasn't)

but either way He is good and sovereign and perfect. 

His hands are a good place to be! 

Thanks for all of the prayers and love and support!  

Scan- Round 1

I had round one of my scan today. 

I got to the hospital around 7:30 this morning for my injection.

Nothing like a little radiation to start your day :) 

I had to wait a few hours in between the injection and the actual scan so I went by a local raw juice bar for a little anti-radiation cocktail.

The juicer guy suggested I get the Detox. 

I figured it was worth a shot. 

Four hours after the injection I went back in for the actual scan. 

Besides the camera being super close to my face/body the scan was a breeze. 

I just had to not move for a long time which equaled the perfect napping position.

I go back for the second part of the scan tomorrow morning and then I should hopefully hear the results early next week. 

Thanks for all the prayers! 

Madelyn was not a happy camper that Mommy couldn't touch or hold her today. 

Darn radiation. 

Barrett's what?

I just realized I forgot to give you guys the latest scoop on my health.

I went to the doctor last week for the pathology results from the biopsies they took during my endoscopy/colonoscopy. 

The doctor told me the endoscopy/colonoscopy results gave them no further information about what is wrong with me but they did stumble upon another (totally unrelated) disease I have. 

Of course.

It's called Barrett's Esophagus. 

Definition- Barrett's esophagus is a pre cancerous condition in which the lining of the esophagus (the tube that carries food from the throat to the stomach) is damaged by stomach acid and changed to a lining similar to that of the stomach.

I kind of just wanted to laugh when I heard that.

What are the odds that I would have another super rare (especially for young females) disease with no side effects. 

It's just so weird that I can feel totally fine and healthy (at least when I'm not having an attack) yet there be so much stuff going on inside of me. 

But after more thinking and godly wisdom I've realized that it's God's grace that I had the endoscopy and that they were able to find this before it turned into something worse.   

And it's comforting to know that at least God knows what's going on inside of me. 

His hands and will are a good place to be even if it seems a little confusing. 

Oh and tomorrow and Thursday I'm finaalllly getting the big Octreotide scan done (yay!). 

They inject me with some radioactive stuff that should hopefully make any tumors light up and then they do a full body scan 4 hours after the injection and then again the following day. 

It should hopefully confirm or deny whether or not there are any Carcinoid tumors inside of me.
Please pray with me that there are no tumors.

Thanks for all the prayers and love and support! 

I'll keep you guys updated :)  

I'm glad that's over!

Today was quite the day! 

It started off this morning when I found out that there was a communication mishap (between the surgery center and my doctor's office) and I wasn't on the schedule for any procedures today! 

Yeah I was freaking out when I heard that too. 

The thought of having to drink that awful stuff again was enough to make me want to throw up. 

Thankfully they were able to squeeze me in a little later today at a different surgery center 

otherwise I was getting ready to protest outside the doctors office.  

Once I was at the surgery center they had a really hard time starting an IV on me. 

After 5 tries they f.i.n.a.l.l.y. got it!

Of course that's when Aaron decided to take this picture of me. 

I was trying to look happy even though my arms/hands were killing me from all those pokes jabs. 

Then I had the procedure done. 

Apparently I have a super duper high tolerance to anesthesia because they gave me triple the normal dose of meds and was I was still awake and talking to them. 

I kept saying, "Can you give me a little more. Aren't I supposed to be out. Is it not working?"

Totally crazy. 

Results....

So the good news is they didn't find any tumors (at least in my colon, appendix, colon or large intestine)!! 

But they did find some other abnormal things and they took a bunch of biopsies of different things (don't ask me what it all was because I can not even tell you).

They also still want me to get a specialized (crazy!) Octreotide scan and to do some other procedures so they can check out my pancreas, small intestine, lungs, liver, etc. for tumors.

But in the meantime we are praising God for the little victories and good news! 

He is so good! 

Thanks for the support and love and prayers! 

Gettin' ready for tomorrow

Tomorrow's the big day for stage one of the tumor hunt. 

I have my endoscopy and colonoscopy at 12:00 tomorrow which means I got to spend all day today prepping for it.

Lucky me!  

The kids were so jealous that I got to eat Jello for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

If you've had a colonoscopy before
 you know how much fun the next part is.

You have to drink four liters of the grossest tasting liquid possible that makes you poop more than you ever have in your entire life. 

I tried to add some Crystal Light to the mix and drinking from a straw to help it go down a little easier but it didn't help! 

I'm supposed to have the whole bottle down by bedtime tonight but it's not looking good. 

I have 1/4 of the bottle left and my throat will not let any more of that stuff go down. literally. 

Anyways, I let you know how the procedure went later tomorrow. 

Wish me luck and pray for me! 

Tests, tests and more tests

So I went to the gastroenterologist yesterday.

Aaron and I had to laugh when we walked up to the door and saw the sign. 

The first thing I said was, "No one told me I had to see the Digestive Disease doctor!"

I think gastroenterologist sounds much better.

Anyways, we met with the gastroenterologist (who was very nice) and he is pretty sure I have Carcinoid Syndrome or at least that is what all of my symptoms are pointing to.

This is also the same thing that the rheumatologist thought I had and the reason he ordered the urgent CT scan which we thought came back clear. 

Apparently normal CT scans often don't pick up the teeny tiny carcinoid tumors that cause Carcinoid Syndrome. Since they are only 1-2 centimeters big and can be basically anywhere in your abdomen they are very hard to locate.

So the next step is to try and locate those pesky little tumors. 

The doctor has ordered 4 or 5 different procedures (endoscopy, colonoscopy, specialized CT scan, internal ultrasound, swallowing a capsule camera) to try and find out where the tumors are. 

Right now we are just waiting on authorization from my insurance to start the procedures but they were hoping to at least do the endoscopy and colonoscopy by the end of this week (but it's looking more like early next week).  

Oh and I had to do a zillion more blood tests and a 24 hour urine test (fun I know) where I can't drink coffee for 3 days! 

Pray for me :)

In the midst of all the craziness I feel like Aaron and I are doing pretty good.

And it's definitely nothing that we can attribute to ourselves. 

Whatever strength we have is absolutely and totally from the Lord. 

He is so good.
And so in control of everything.

Even my body. 

Even these possible tumors. 

He knows the exact number of days I'll be around and while I'm hoping and praying that I have a whole lot left I have to be at peace with the fact that His will is the best. 

Whatever that might be. 

But in the meantime we wait and hope and trust in the Lord

and PRAY like crazy that he would heal me or allow us to walk through this whole thing shining brightly the light of Jesus to whoever we come in contact with along the way.

*Oh and we are switching Internet providers so we are without Internet for 2 days! I snuck away to write this post to keep you all in the loop so please don't panic if I'm M.I.A. for a couple days. I can still read all of your comments and reply to emails from my phone I just won't be able to blog until it's back on. Thanks again for all your love and prayers and support! 

I'm alive :)

You guys are all so sweet! 

I didn't even think that my lack of posting would freak all of you out and make you think that I got some really awful news. 

I'm feeling fine, just waiting for answers. 

I'll post some more info tonight but there isn't a whole lot of news at this point. 

Thanks again for all of your sweet emails and concern.

Love you all!

Results!

Over the past couple of years I feel like God has been asking me the question,

"Do you trust me." 

And every time my initial response is "Yes. Of course I do." 

But the Lord knows my heart. 

Even more than I do.
And He cares about my heart and my holiness like any good Father would. 

And so He graciously.tenderly.lovingly 

reveals to me the parts of my heart that don't fully trust.

And then He shows me 

over and over and over and over again

 that He is good and perfect and holy

and sovereign and all powerful

and full of love for me.

And that He is trustworthy. 

He is faithful.

His plans are bigger than mine. 

This week has just been another reminder of all of that. 

And another sweet time of the Lord ministering to me. 

It's so crazy (and awesome) that during the hardest times I always feel the most loved by the Lord. 

     Like He goes out of His way to let me know that I am His and that He loves me. 

But then again I shouldn't be surprised. 

Because that's exactly the kind of God I know Him to be. 

Wesley had his surgery today. 

He was such a big, brave boy!

When they went into the wound they said it was very infected because...

this giant piece of a stick was still in his cheek!

It gives me the heebe jeebees just thinking about it.

I still haven't seen what the incision looks like under his big bandage but hopefully now that the stick is out things will be getting better.

 for real this time.   

I was supposed to hear the results from the CT scan early this morning but after waiting and waiting and pestering the nurses at my doctor's offices a bunch of times I heard nothing. 

I'm pretty sure it was part of God's whole I have a work that needs to be done in Kristin's heart that can't be accomplished any other way plan.

But after spending lots of time meditating on Psalm 62 and being sure that I was going to hear horrible news from the doctor (why else would he be waiting sooooo long to get back to me) I finally got the results. 

And praise God the CT scan showed NO tumors!!

Such an answer to prayer! 

I'm still waiting on a million other results from the blood work and to hear the details from the CT scan but I'm definitely thankful for the great news we have had today. 

And am praising the Lord for his goodness and grace! 

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and love and support!! 

I have been blown away by everyones concern and we have been spoiled with lots of yummy food and help from family and friends.